D#5 HW#8 Grammar Assignment #2

My focused audience will most likely include teens, young adults, parents, and anyone interested in the topic. My audience will want to know factual, interesting information on whether sex-education has effects on the health of young people. I’m sure they will also be interested in opposing arguments, opinions, and viewpoints so they can come to a conclusion of their own. They will need concrete evidence and relatable experiences noted in order to connect with the topic.
This topic is very controversial because people have so many different personal opinions. My audience cares because it directly affects them, their families, and friends. They can all relate in one way or another. I plan to research health websites for stats on sex education and its effectiveness. I’m going to talk to my siblings and parents in an effort to hear other view points, and gain some insight to their point of view. I will also consult some of the blogging sites to see what other people are going through, talking about, and what opinions they have.


New:
The audience will most likely include teens, young adults, parents, and anyone interested in the topic. They will want to know factual, interesting information on whether sex-education has effects on the health of young people. Furthermore, they will also be interested in opposing arguments, opinions, and viewpoints so they can come to a conclusion of their own. In addition, they will need concrete evidence and relatable experiences noted in order to connect with the topic.
This issue is very controversial because people have so many different personal opinions. The audience cares because it directly affects them, their families, and friends. They can all relate in one way or another. My plan is to research health websites for stats on sex education and its effectiveness. I’m going to talk to my siblings and parents in an effort to hear other view points, and gain some insight to their point of view. For additional information I will also consult some of the blogging sites to see what other people are going through, talking about, and what opinions they have.

http://grammar.quickanddirtytips.com/avoiding-redundancy.aspx
*this is the site i used. i feel like at times i am annoyingly redundant. This site helped identify the issues that many people have and simple ways to go about correcting yourself, by breaking down each sentence and removing the obviously overstated.